How come he don’t want me?

Like most millennials, I grew up watching The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I watched reruns of the show on CBC (Canadian Broadcast Corporation) every day after school. I’ve watched every episode multiple times, except for one, there’s one episode I’ve only seen once.

If you’re unfamiliar with The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, the show is about a troubled teenager, Will, sent by a single mother to live with his wealthy Uncle Phil and Aunt Vivian.

The episode I mentioned earlier is titled “Papa's Got a Brand New Excuse,” from Season 4 Episode 24. In that episode, Will reunites with his father, 14 years after his father abandoned him. They restart their relationship and plan a father-son trip together.

But, by the end of the episode, Will’s father abruptly cancels their trip and abandons Will, again. Devastated by this, Will shares his anger with Uncle Phil; he begins to cry and asks: “How come he don’t want me?”

It’s the most powerful scene in the entire series. The episode aired 30 years ago in 1994, but we can still see it circulating on social media. And, yet, I’ve only watched the scene once. I avoid the episode, especially that scene, every single time.  The void and doubt found in this scene fills the hearts of so many youth ReWritten works with.

That scene hits too close to home for the fatherless. It made me deeply uncomfortable. Like Will, I was, also, abandoned by my father. He left me and my mom before I was born. So, when Will asks, “How come he don’t want me?,” he’s asking a question I and many ReWritten participants have been asking all our lives.

“How come he don’t want me?” are the last words in the episode. Will doesn’t receive an answer to his question. When fathers abandon their children, it forces them to ask questions for which they may never receive good answers.

The effects of fatherlessness can only be solved in one way and the episode ends with it. Uncle Phil didn’t say anything to Will after his question.

He hugged him.

The message was clear. Uncle Phil was there to console him. He was there to love him, to teach him, to support him—to mentor him. He was there for Will.

So, the episode wasn’t really about what Will’s father DIDN’T DO for him. It was about what his uncle DID for him. The effects of fatherlessness in children are significantly reduced when they have mentors in their lives who step in to advocate and protect them. 

Studies show that at-risk youths with mentors are 46% less likely to use drugs, 55% more likely to enroll in college, and 130% more likely to hold leadership positions.

No one can replace a father, but mentors can help rewrite their future. I’ve seen it in my own life. I owe everything in my life to my mentors. If it weren't for them, I likely wouldn’t have a career or a nuclear family.  

This is why ReWritten exists. We are playing the same role for many fatherless children that Uncle Phil did for Will and the same role my mentors did for me.

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ReWritten contributor, Samuel Sey is a writer and blogger. To learn more about Samuel you can visit: www.SlowToWrite.com