Fatherlessness: The Giant Hole at Home.
When fathers are not home, it leaves children vulnerable to unwelcome guests. My fatherlessness forced my mom to work two full-time jobs to provide for our family. That made our home entirely fatherless and mostly motherless. This is something few consider about fatherlessness. It doesn't just impact a child’s relationship with one parent; it impacts relationships with both parents. Fatherlessness is like a giant hole that mothers are forced to try to fill, but they often end up digging new holes too. The children try to overcome the emptiness of both without knowing how. Single mothers are often extraordinary heroes, but they need help to fill those holes without creating new holes in the family. That is why Rewritten exists.
My mom is my hero. She has done more for me than most married parents do for their children. However, since she had to work two full-time jobs, she often wasn’t home. Unfortunately, that allowed me to witness sexual activity when I was only five years old, and it also prompted me to replicate the same activities soon after. Studies show that this isn’t uncommon for fatherless children. Sadly, fatherless children are significantly more likely to experience early sexual activity than children who grow up in a nuclear family. The average age for a child’s first exposure to pornography is 12 years old, but the average age for a fatherless child’s first exposure is often earlier than that. However, pornography isn’t the only threat in fatherless homes because there’s also a more subtle one–pop culture.
Some of the most “interesting” social media terms for pop culture figures among Gen Zers are “dad” and “mother.” Pop culture celebrities have always been role models, but increasingly—especially for fatherless children—they have become father and mother figures. The terms “dad” and “mother” are used to describe those figures with whom young people closely identify. For instance, Taylor Swift is called “mother” by some fans because of her influence in their lives. In the same way, they call her boyfriend, Travis Kelce, “dad.” These terms are used in generally unserious ways, but they highlight a serious problem: fatherless young people don’t need more so-called “father figures” and “role models” because they already have plenty in pop culture. What they need are good role models and good father figures. That is what will protect them from unwelcome guests in pop culture and social media.
At Rewritten, we do not simply offer fatherless young people random role models and father figures. They already have them in the media, at school, and sometimes in gangs. We offer them good role models and good father figures who will help them fill in some of the giant holes that fatherlessness creates in a home.
ReWritten contributor, Samuel Sey is a writer and blogger. To learn more about Samuel you can visit: www.SlowToWrite.com